Chicken Joke, Pt. 1
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Here are some of the answers..
~George W. Bush
“Look, it’s tough crossin’ the road. The chicken knows it’s tough. The American people have got to understand that I know the chicken knows it’s tough. I read the report. But the chicken’s on the march. And it will get the job done .”
“That depends on the observer’s inertial frame of reference.”
“Did the chicken cross the road? If he crossed the road certainly he had no reason to as a chicken as it would mean expending more effort than the food he would find on the other side could provide the energy for. If he crossed the road…. that can only mean that Colonel Sanders was close behind and closing in on him. Captain- if we can approach Colonel Sanders from the correct approaching angle, we may stop him from strangling the chicken.” *Looks pensive, then checks Captain*.
~Cast of LOST
Jack Sheppard: “I don’t know, maybe the chicken was just moving in that direction. Why does it have to mean anything that it crossed the road?”
John Locke: “The Island demanded that the chicken cross at that moment.”
Sawyer: “Why are you so interested in the damn chicken, Colonel Sanders? Tired of mangos?”
Sayid, calmly: “I know more about chickens and the use of them crossing roads than I care to remember. I don’t know what is more disturbing. The fact that that chicken has crossed the road, or that it has only three toes.”
Early Shannon: “Ohmygod Boone, why should we care if the chicken crossed the road or not? It has nothing to do with us.”
Hugo “Hurley” Reyes: “Dude, did you see a chicken come this way?”
“The chicken didn’t cross that road, the road crossed that chicken.”
“How many roads must a chicken then cross, before you call him a rooster?”
“Don’t know why the chicken decided to cross the road alone.”
“Listen as the chicken crosses the road’s great divide. The joke is its companion and that chicken won’t be denied!”
“The chicken crossed the road for you and everything you did. And the chicken was all yellow.”
“The chickens looked at roads from both sides now, but still somehow its the roads illusion it recalls. Chickens don’t really know roads at all.”
“The chicken had so much left to know so it went on the road to find out.”
“If you have to ask why chickens cross roads you’ll never know.”
“If a chicken takes a notion to cross a road or ocean. Well it ain’t nobody’s business if it do.”
“The great journey that was before the chicken then was what was destined to be. Now the chicken is sorrowful, the road is long past.” (When translated from Irish Gaelic)
~John F. Kennedy
“Whyyy…did the chicken, cross the road?”
“He crossed the road… to give his life.
He did it,… not for himself,………. but he did it… for his fellow chickens.
As a warning,…
And a brave and noble thing it was… that he did.”
“The simplest explanation is the most likely, now calm down and start behaving rationally.”
~The Cast of House
Cameron: “We should watch the chicken, but not force it or manipulate it. Find out what that tells us about its past actions, but not do anything dishonest.”
Chase: “It’s just a chicken. It was probably running away from some fat American kid.”
Foreman: “You’re both wrong it’s a neurological reaction to stimuli. Come on people.”
House: “Actually you’re all wrong. The real question is why should we care? The answer is we shouldn’t. Next case. Oh and give me my damn pills!”
“Under a 125 F.At 36 degree North and 115 degree East, and at 03:00 GMT, Professor Chicken entered history as his Cannon propelled him through the road.”
“I deduce this was a Rock Island hen, eleven months old, and that it was kept in a mesh cage composed of galvanized iron. Surely Watson, you can see this is a festive Sunday afternoon, and the chicken is but one step ahead of the family stew pot.”